Denial is exhausting
Denial requires a lot of energy. We can think of it as an energy shield guarding us and keeping us from seeing and dealing with what's on the other side. It has to be constantly held up.
When we receive feedback or notice a perspective that triggers us to reflect on our ways, be it from seeing something on TV, while reading a book, or as part of a conversation with someone else, when it's something that challenges our way of being, we can become defensive.
Defensiveness can signify that we were surprised and weren't prepared to be part of that conversation. There's nothing wrong with that.
We have a choice. We can choose to reflect deeply in those moments and open ourselves to something new, or we can choose denial, choosing to maintain our current views and ways of seeing things.
Denial requires a lot of energy. We can think of it as an energy shield guarding us and keeping us from seeing and dealing with what's on the other side. It has to be constantly held up, expending our limited and finite amount of energy.
And sometimes, the shield allows us to keep some of these beliefs alive:
This is just who I am.
I'll never be good at that.
I'm just not that kind of leader.
I can do more; I just need to sleep less.
I don't lead people, and so communication isn't a skill I need to develop.
As long as my intent is good, I'm not responsible for the impact my behaviour has.
When we spend energy on denial, we have less available for curiosity, discovery, learning, growth and our ability to see and take on new perspectives.
Letting go of denial, putting down the shield might leave us feeling vulnerable for a while, but with more energy to shine the light on more important matters.
Letting go leads to a boost in energy which itself leads to more curiosity and reflection. Letting go also leads to a sense of liberation and freedom, not needing to hold the shield to protect us from what we weren't ready to see and accept.
At the opposite end of denial lives acceptance.
Miguel,
Sparknotion – Think Differently.