Leading from the inside

Today, what we most often encounter is the opposite.

Today, what we most often encounter is the opposite.

More concerned with how we look, the power we have, or the respect we maintain.

Sometimes it’s the leader that clings to command and control simply because it would be too uncomfortable otherwise.

Other times, it’s the employee who works long hours and says yes when they should say no to feel accepted, respected or appreciated.

Or simply, it’s the friend who loses their temper when points of view challenge their worldview.

Carl Jung taught us that awareness of the self is fundamental to all positive interactions and endeavours.

There is no cure and no improving of the world that does not begin with the individual himself. — Carl Jung

The resources we need to solve our many-faceted problems live inside us, and the mistake we make is looking externally for solutions.

In a science-driven world, many cringe at the thought of looking within. It’s not objective or data-driven.

Every time we distract ourselves from the parts we are uncomfortable with, we diminish our connection to ourselves.

The more disconnected we are, the more struggles we face, and the harder we look externally.

Instead of being okay with not being okay, we try to manipulate and control the circumstances or the people around us in ways that make us feel safe.

It also leads us increasingly to distract ourselves rather than understand ourselves. It is similar to what the remote did for Adam Sandler in the movie Click. By constantly using the remote to skip uncomfortable life moments, the remote learned to automatically cut past any emotional life events, which led to missing many vital ones.

Hiding from the discomfort of emotions, pain and fear, the opposite happens; we create the perfect conditions for emotions to be in the driver's seat calling the shots.

We do not need to hide from pain and fear; we need to change our relationship with it.

Elizabeth Gilbert has a practice she performs before she tackles something that would bring up fear. Her point is that we want to move beyond fear, not eliminate it.

In the book Dialogue, William Issacs shares something David Bohm used to say. “If there is pollution in the river of our thought, then we have essentially two strategies we might pursue: removing the pollution from the river downstream, or changing something farther upstream."

Downstream, we build elaborate systems, tools, and gadgets to address pollution. Such changes allow us to evade responsibility for our actions and reactions and put blame externally. Downstream improvements are safe and don't require self-reflection or challenge behaviours or thought patterns. In contrast, upstream change happens at the source through openness, deep reflection, and curiosity. It takes responsibility for the pollution created and addresses it. This process is challenging, daring and courageous.

The thing is that leadership — leading oneself and others — starts within. No rightful change in the world is ever genuinely accomplished without first improving oneself.

The best way to strengthen our sense of connection with the self and others is by developing an okay-ness with tension and becoming curious about it instead of pushing it downstream, dismissing it or running away from it when it comes knocking.

Miguel,
Sparknotion — Think Differently.