Don't shoot the messenger

When we let our emotions dictate how we react to feedback, we close off any opportunities to learn, reflect, process and change our understanding of ourselves and how we show up.

Feedback is uncomfortable; it aims to highlight parts of ourselves that we may fail to recognize.

When we let our emotions dictate how we react to feedback, we close off any opportunities to learn, reflect, process and change our understanding of ourselves and how we show up.

As good people, we want to see ourselves in the best possible way, and feedback might threaten that. It might challenge beliefs we hold about ourselves or the world and challenge some ideologies we have.

Focus on the message, not the messenger. Focusing on the messenger and making it about them takes the focus away from us. It absolves us from any responsibility in the matter.

We might demand feedback be delivered with a certain tone or require ideal timing, with minimal delay between the particular instance and its delivery. We ask for its delivery to be private, not public or simply that it comes only from someone we have a trusting relationship with.

All these restrictions enable us not to take responsibility. Regardless of whether these are right or wrong, the message is more important than the messenger. When we hide behind excuses, we make it about them instead of us, and we lose out on our opportunities to grow.

If we're willing to dance with the discomfort and keep the focus on ourselves, we might get more out feedback than we ever imagined.

Who do you know that you trust is always open to receiving feedback? What behaviours have they adopted to support this, and what beliefs do they live by regarding feedback?

Miguel,
Sparknotion – Think Differently.